


Dean, Dean, Dean

by HaleArgent



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Sassy Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9355541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleArgent/pseuds/HaleArgent
Summary: You and Dean are dating, after a drunken night he confesses his love to you. It freaks you out since everyone who has even mentioned love in your life has either left you or died.One rational decision might have either ruined your life or just saved it





	1. Chapter 1

After a hard day, you and your boyfriend Dean Winchester decide to get wasted. How strange as it sounds you can hold liquor down better than Dean. Sam went to sleep hours ago but you and Dean got the great idea of playing never have I ever by just the two of you and it developed into confessing things and drinking between confessions. It was cold so Dean had given you his coat earlier to keep you warm

"I confess that have ran around a cornfield naked" you confessed and emptied your glass  
"I confess to have at least once tied Sam to a chair to give him a hair cut" Dean said almost falling off his chair  
"When?" you asked, hoping it wouldn't be before he was three  
"Two weeks ago" he laughed, so did you but not as loudly  
"I confess.... I really like doing this. Getting drunk with you" you made the grumpy brother smile- it was a smile but it seemed to have covered something more.  
It took a while for him to say anything next as he was gathering courage for his confession. He drank whatever he had left in his glass and took your hand. "I confess that I love you"  
"Wait... what?" you asked your boyfriend. Dean slowly drifted off to the clouds. "Dean?" you poked him with your foor. "Dean" you kicked him slightly harder. "DEAN!" you screamed. It didn't woke up Dean but it did get Sam up  
"He sleeps like a log. He is not waking up" Sam said and carried him to his brother's bedroom.

'What the Hell Dean? We are just having fun, not the emotional crap. I mean dating is dating but love means that there is actually something to lose. He never says that!' was running on a loop, inside your head  
"Are you okay?" Sam took Dean's place across from you  
You took the bottle and toasted "I confess that I have no idea what to do anymore" and drank what was left of it  
"Don't tell me you are pregnant..." Sam sighed, looking up as he was praying  
"Sam, I've been drinking this whole night. I'm not pregnant." you assured him but he wasn't more relieved  
"What did that jerk do now?" Sam rolled his eyes  
"He just might have said something that took this whole thing we have to a complete different stage" you closed your eyes and stared to think about the future. Little Winchesters running on your porch when Dean came home from work, looking miserable as he did everyday after a long day at the office. Later him and you having a fight because he works all the time and you are staying at home, taking care of the kids and when Sam would come visit, you and him having a great connection Dean would get jealous and eventually you'd drift apart and you'd be left alone with the kids and Sam.  
"Did he propose?" Sam raised his brow, jokingly but that's not how you saw it. The way you see that is just one step closer to growing apart  
"Even worse, he loves me" you pressed your forehead against your knees, trying to repress the memory of it  
"Why is that bad? He finally has found someone who he lets himself be himself around" Sam took your hand and slid his thumb across your fingers, "Dean doesn't say that to everyone, he was taught to keep his feelings hidden, being a man. Not to express them. Now you know that you are all his and that he is not just messing around with you" he comforted you.  
All you wanted to say was 'I like the way things were, I like the messing around, and maybe the worst but you like Dean.

"He was pretty drunk when he said it thought" you think that it was because of the booze but Sam did burst your bubble  
"I don't think it was the drunk him talking, he admitted it to me last week" Sam was more excited about his brother's confession than you were. It was heartbreaking to watch.  
"Want me to carry you to bed, next to your loving boyfriend?" Sam winked at you  
"I'm fine, the sun rises soon. I kind of want to see it" you smiled at him.

You knew you weren't going to get any sleep that night. You even went for a walk in the forest. Watching the fireflies and the moonlight hit the little puddles and a pond on your journey, it brought mirrors and reflections on your mind and something your mother used to say "when someone loves you, they see their own soul reflecting in your eyes but as a better one. Unless you love them back, then they see your soul as it really is, it still is better than when you started because love can fix even the most broken ones" - something might have gotten lost in translation but that was the main idea. By the rime sun was rising, you had found an old barn. If it had ever been painted, it had chipped off. The barn smelled horrible, as you walked a little further in, there was a dead woman in the back corner, about your height. You were still shocked from Dean's words, so without realizing how dry and flammable everything around you was, you decided to burn the body. Slowly you took the lighter out of Dean's pocket and on the spur of the moment burned it all to the ground, leaving the lighter and the Winchesters behind


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning beautiful" Dean woke up to turn around, trying wrap his hand around his beautiful girlfriend in the morning hoping seeing her would help with the hangover but just as his hand would have reached her, it hit the mattress. "Y/N?" Dean opened my eyes and looked around the room, nobody was there.

"Sam?!" Dean yelled and his brother came rushing for him, as he was opening the door Dean asked "is she with you?"  
"She's outside, wanted to wait for the sunrise. She's probably still there" Sam tried to peek if he could see Y/N. "Can't see"  
"Maybe you could GO AND SEE!" Dean screamed at his little brother, who has more memory of last night than he did  
"She's your girlfriend, not my responsibility" Sam argued but went to see anyway.

"Dean, she's not here" Sam informed  
"Where is she?" Dean put a shirt on and came to the living room where Sam had opened the TV. "Sam, now is not the time to watch that thing!"  
"Last night was not a happy night. A barn had burnt near the edge of the town in Detroit, a female body has been found, unidentified but it the case is considered as arson. Not a great day for farmers Don" the TV-reporter announced  
"Do you think that could be...?" Sam started  
"She isn't an arsonist" Dean cut in  
"She doesn't have to be an arsonist to die in a fire" Sam reasoned with his brother  
"SHE ISN'T DEAD!" Dean bursted out of anger  
"There is a possibility that she could..."  
"There isn't. We have talked about this, she is not going unless she is forced to. Even then we've returned from the dead multiple times, she can do that if we can" Dean rushed out the door leaving Sam wordless and sad

1 year later:

"For the last time Dean, she died in that fire" Sam sighed  
"No she didn't. That night she was wearing my jacket. There was not any evidence of it there" Dean said with a hint of crazy in his eyes  
"Your lighter was there. You have to consider that it could have burned, like the house" Sam was tired of Dean's obsessiveness about Y/N. She could have died, even if she did it was pretty obvious she didn't want to be found, it has been a year for christ's sake  
"How could be so naíve Sammy. She is waiting for me, in right here. Right here in California." Dean repeated, "she told me that herself"  
"When did Y/N exactly say it? Before she died in that fire or after it inside your head?"  
"Sammy, inside my head" Dean mocked Sam, by trying to say it as Sam-like as he could, "she told me that a week ago"  
"Where?" Sam looked down on his big brother  
"In a dream, and they call you the smart one" Dean laughed, "If you were at least half as smart as you think, you'd know that nothing you'll say will change my mind. I will find her and bring her home, safe."  
"I know that. I also know, you know that I won't let you go alone. Even though it is a suicide mission and IF she is alive she still doesn't want to be found" Sam rolled his eyes out of frustration  
"You don't get it. I love her and I'm not giving up, she needs to know that" Dean wiped the forming tears out of his eyes  
"I love you Dean, I hate to say this but she knows it, she doesn't care" Sam said under his breath but his brother heard it anyway  
Dean stopped everything he was working on. "She what?"  
"You told her you loved her. That's why she wanted to stay and watch the sunset, she got scared and she left" Sam carefully confessed the secret he had been keeping for a year  
"I did not" Dean didn't believe his brother, there is no way he would ever in his right mind...  
The expression on Dean's face slowly changed when he realized how drunk he had been, and most like blurted out something he wasn't suppose to. "I told her, didn't I?"  
"You did" Sam answered shortly  
"What's wrong with me? Finally I find a nice girl, with almost the same amount of damage as I have and I had it all planned out how I was gonna do it" Dean hit himself to forehead with his palm  
"Now, can we just get back to hunting?" Sam was already counting the minutes until he'd get Dean back to his regular self  
"No, I gotta apologize to her. What's the point of coming all this way just to give up?" Dean tried to be inspiring but that like his sanity, he had lost it in Detroit  
" _Thanks Sam for keeping me safe, thanks for being supportive and a loving brother on my during my days in the dark. You are right, I was obsessing. Thanks for helping me, she clearly doesn't want to be found._ " Sam said the things he pretended to hear when Dean spoke


	3. Chapter 3

"She lives there" Dean said from the driver's seat of Impala. The closer he came to your apartment, more nervous he got. His hands were shaking and tapping the steering wheel, driving Sam insane  
"Could you stop" Sam snapped at his brother from the backseat. "Dean, it's not too late to back out"

Just as Sam had said that, you opened your door and like magic, the Impala was the first thing your eyes landed on. Just seeing it made your heart beat skip a beat, your breathing got faster and heavier, not to mention your feet felt that they couldn't hold your weight. Before even glancing at the driver, you escaped back to your regular day. Of course you didn't get anything done, you knew that if the car was still there, it would be Dean and facing him was more frightening than beheading vampires and exorcising demons or even them combined

In Impala:  
"She's alive" Sam sighed, "we can still go. She doesn't love you Dean"  
"I need some closure Sammy!" Dean stopped shaking and leaned his forehead against his hands on the wheel. "I need to know why she ran, would being with me be so horrible that she faked her death? We can go back to killing things after that. Deal?"  
"Last time you said you were going to apologize, not question her" Sam had no idea how messed up his brother really had gotten after losing you, forgetting words not having peace of mind before seeing you. It was pure obsession.  
"I changed my mind, okay?!" he blurted out.

It took a couple of hours before you returned, but the Winchesters waited patiently. They saw you notice the Impala but no-one came out so you agreed with yourself that it was a coincidence. Dean on the other hand was fighting the temptation to break down the door and either kiss every inch of your body because he wanted you back, to stay with him or torture the information out of you, and break his heart knowing you'll say to keep him away. 

"I have to go" Dean said and grabbed the handle but struggled whether to open it or not.  
"Dean? It's okay" Sam put his hand on his shoulder but Dean opened the car door to knock on yours.

It took you couple of minutes but you went to open it with a smile, the way you usually greeted people who knocked but the smile faded quickly when you saw the one who was knocking  
You waited for him to say something but he just stared at you, studied you from head to toe, what had changed and what stayed the same. Your style had changed from ripped jeans and AC/DC shirts to skirts, dresses and high heels, even some accessorizes.  
From what Dean saw from the door, your apartment was in pastel colors unlike where you used to live with the Winchesters. Even the sunlight had a way of lighting your hallway. He couldn't help but think if her life was better here, without him.

Dean finally managed to open his mouth and all that came out was "hey"  
"Hi?" you answered with a shy smile. You look around and see Sam waving inside the car, "your car has been there since I left. Do you need some help?" you ask, not giving signs that you recognize him or his brother. Maybe he'll think that you are just a doppelgänger  
"Oh, no we are just fine" Dean nodded, should he just leave or ask to come in  
"Okay..." you pretend to look around a bit, "do you and that" you pointed at Sam in the car "want to come for coffee or something?"

Dean looked at the woman standing in front of him. They Y/N he knew would never miss a chance of calling his brother Moose around him.  
"Sure" he stepped into your place, but you stayed wondering if Sam will come too

You made some tea and coffee. Earlier you had bought a pie, just in case it was those two in the car and you set the table

"I see you changed your style" Dean commented on your outfit, "not that there wasn't something you couldn't pull off"  
"Well, AC/DC shirt and ripped jeans didn't really give the right impression"  
"I liked it" he was careful not to use the word 'love'  
"I got something for you" you said and went to get his jacket from your closet. "I don't need this anymore"  
For Dean it was like you had given him back your last memory of your time together, it really wasn't but you couldn't tell him how you missed him. His scent. His skin. His touch. Him.

"What did you do after you left us?" Dean asked, shoving piece of a cherry pie in his mouth, after he put the jacket on his lap  
"I went to college, studying to be a kindergarten teacher" you sipped your tea, "I'm guessing you are still hunting"  
He nodded with a face full of pie. Somehow seeing him like that, just made you laugh

Once he had finished his piece, he stopped for a minute to ask "why did you leave?"  
"I got scared" you avoided making eye-contact with him  
"We hunt demons and vampires and all supernatural creatures. What did you get scared of?" he asked, hoping the answer wouldn't be him  
"The future. After the I love you, all I could see was this little house on the country side, little kids running around on the porch. You working a dead-end job that you hate, I was home all day with Moose. Whenever you got home, we both knew we were more and more apart, and me and Moose growing closer together making you angrier. I didn't want that." you confessed  
"Our future wouldn't have to be like that. It could be just you and me, in awfully bright apartment in California. You as a kindergarten, me as your super sexy gym-teacher partner."  
You chuckled at his proposal. "No, that's not how our future is going to be. Because what you are going to do is hunt, or be and do what ever you want. With someone who deserves you and doesn't burn down a barn when they get scared of spending their life with you. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who loves you back."

You could see the exact moment when his heart broke into a billion pieces. He obviously was too much of a man to cry in front of you, it would have made you keep him here and never let him go again bu this was a necessary to make him forget you. This was something you had to say just to say, something you'll regret for the rest of your life but in reality, he did deserve better than you.


End file.
